saddening

people do change, don't they? it's sometimes quite sad to know that certain changes happen to people in a fairly short while... :(

but when i have this feeling that someone has changed, i will ask myself if I am the one that has changed and thus this feeling. this time, i am very sure that it is not me who has changed.

someone who used to be important and close, someone who shares thoughts and feelings.. someone whom i could rely on, someone who thought i was important too.

i forgot when it started... forgot when my thoughts, feelings, comments, and opinions did not matter anymore...

i feel... alone, somewhat. it's a sense of emptiness. a saddening feeling. i feel like someone who used to be able to hold a big crystal ball in her hands, but the ball broke; leaving me to hold on to whatever that's left...

there is more than one wall between us.. such an arduous task, even for the both of us.

such a sad thing to have happened........................ :(

beware! climbers!

recent news got me to thinking about what an author used to term as 'climbers'. i am one who is rather disgusted by such people.

for those who had never read 'first wives club' by olivia goldsmith, the term 'climbers' were used to describe those who latch themselves on people of higher status and climb up the social ladder, so to speak.

recently there was an acquaintance whom dumped her boyfriend of several years to be with an older, much richer 'colleague'. what is it with girls nowadays? this is not a question of love, it is a question of material needs. this i know, for they have only known each other for less than 3 months.

and, sad to say, this is not the only story i have heard by far.

this, which led me to thinking; is this world becoming too materialistic? press news and entertainment have shifted focus to the rich and the wealthy; thus making an impression on young women that whatever your salary might be, a LV bag on your arm is a mere basic necessity.

i think i am completely lucky that my guy is although cute, has zero financial ability to speak of. hahaha.

Is there ever really nothing to hide?

Have you ever met a person who says their conscience is clear? the sentence that often accompanies this would be 'I have nothing to hide'. But is there? Isn't there always a thing or a habit that we are ashamed of and try to hide it from prying eyes? Can there really be a person who says they have nothing to hide and then actually do it? But then again, how would we know?

It is not uncommon to not know everything about the person you are with when the relationship is just beginning to blossom. There is an air of excitement that rapidly builds up the connection between two people when thinking the other party is 'mysterious'. 'Mysterious', however, would definitely be not-so-mysterious after all; because all of us are innately curious bastards. We will try means and ways, even tactical approaches that deem fit the situation; just to pry more out of the other party we so much can't get enough of.

So supposing in a married couple, we actually see two people not knowing everything about each other, is that weird? Do they genuinely not want to know everything about the person they are married to, or do they have something to hide? Does not knowing everything about the person you are married to creates the 'mysterious' mood; and actually enables the air of curiousity to last, hopefully forever? I have heard of a couple who have been married for almost thirty years but still bathe and change separately. According to his wife, this creates the mysterious mood between them two, she is enable to give him surprises in the wardrobe area, and her husband cannot get enough of her even after three decades.

However, when one stresses the importance of honesty in a relationship, is it allowed when they hide certain things from each other? would that be called cheating? Or is this just called being selfish? Selfish that you just want to know everything about your partner to satisfy your own curiousity, but turn evasive and moody when asked about your own past and skeletons in the closet? When the relationship eventually sexual relationship, some may find it offensive that they can sacrifice their body to give pleasures that are desired, but still be shunned from questions they ask. Are certain things really off-limits? Is there always a taboo in everyone's life that is untouchable?

I find it intriguing how people can be really very close, but still keep certain things to themselves and away from those they claim are dear to the heart. So why do we do this? Is this how we are trained; to keep ourselves from feeling naked and to protect ourselves from riducule? I was wondering if Eve actually lied to Adam until I remembered she did eventually keep him away from her after consuming the forbidden fruit. Oh well. I really do suppose that our bff is really actually ourselves, and only we know what we have to hide, and flaunt.